2006 HWCI World Cup Pool Update

Friday, July 7, 2006
Issue # 16.5.1 "AS Vaffancula?  You Don't Want to Know"
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CERRITOS, CA (smt) -- When you thought of two world soccer powers meeting in the Final, 1E-Italy (5-0-1) and 2G-France (4-0-2) weren't most people's choices.  The Italians were mired in a match-fixing scandal back home while the French had to recruit retired players to help them through the qualification stage.  But in the end, despite new news before every match, ITA has put that behind them to reach its sixth final and France, after struggling in their first two group play matches, have held steady to beat favorite Spain and defending champion Brazil en route to their second final appearance.  The Sunday Final in Berlin could be a defensive one, with ITA's GK Gianluigi BUFFON not allowing a goal by the opposition (the only goal allowed was an own goal which instead of a 570-minute shutout streak, it is just 453) and FRA's "exciting" GK Fabien BARTHEZ going for his record 11th WC shutout.

But on Saturday, an open-ended match should emerge with 1A-Germany (4-1-1) and 1D-Portugal (4-1-1) facing off in the 3rd Place match in Stuttgart.  2002 Golden Ball winner Oliver KAHN will start in goal for GER.

Saturday's match doesn't matter unless someone is really aching to finish 8th instead of 9th via the tiebreaker (total goals in 3rd place & Final matches).  But on Sunday, one money spot remains to be taken.

Ah, the nicknames.  While we had tributes to legends (PELE, PAOLO ROSSI, and DIVINE PONYTAIL) and not-so-legends (CHERUNDOLO and LANDON IS BEAUTIFUL) and even bad coaches (ESTEBAN Y ALEXI and THE GHOST OF STEVE - heh, the same bad coach!).  We had "colorful" foreign language (CABEZITA and AS VAFFANCULA) and Spanish (GORDA), German (ICH BIN AMERIKANER), and Slovenian (FC KIKIRIKI).  We had references to The Daily Show (SHRINKYNUT MCMADPANTS (though the original name was Shrinkynuts McAngrypants - way too long)), Krispy Kreme (KRISPYBALL PLAYER), Sixteen Candles (LONG DUK DONG), and The Incredibles (ELASTIGIRL).  We had illusions (MIREAL) and delusions (BEN IS THE GREATEST and INGENIEROSANCHEZ (hmmm... same person), and MR. WONDERFUL FC (but then again, this wasn't a reference to his soccer prowess...)).

We had some cool soccer nicknames (FUTBOL FABONE, HOFBRAU FUTBAL, FC CALOGNE, GOLDEN GOAL (ah, I miss it already), and SOCCERBIX) and just neat names in general (MIKE ON THE MIKE, SWEET LOU, JJ, SALSAKING, THE CAT, THE MIGHTY MOBELFAKTA, NICO, P-DITTY, and FLYING ELVI).  We had the uninspired (RIGO, RGLORI, ISH, RUSSO, and ESANCHEZ) and the uninteresting (EEK, SNOWINLA, SOURCE, RAM58, and STUDENT).  Mostly cause I have no idea what the nicknames mean.

Well, thanks to the 37 of you who submitted the 44 nicknames.  I'm sure you're thinking of more clever nicknames in 2010!

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And where was MLSBob, Luis Enrique's Armada, or Beck's Left Foot this year?...
Scott