All:

You are getting this e-mail because you fall into one or more of the following categories:

1) I know you're a big sports fan who can't wait for the tournament.
2) I suspect you of having pocket change you want to donate to a worthy cause.
3) You're just a cool person who might be interested in a fun contest even though you're not really into sports.
4) You have a pulse. (Just kidding about the last one.)

As you know, it's time for the NCAA basketball tournament -- aka "March Madness" for you casual fans. You know the drill -- 64 teams, three weeks, single-elimination tournament, one winner. My friend Scott (a Raytheon guy) runs a contest every year to see who can pick the best tournament bracket, and it's time to submit your entries for this year's version!

Some questions and answers which aren't addressed below:

1) "I've never picked a bracket before. How does this work?" E-mail me and I'll explain the whole thing in more detail. However, first you have to explain to me where you've been all your life where you HAVEN'T been exposed to at least one stressed-out person in March who was muttering over a highlighted piece of paper about how he was SO close to winning this time.

2) "Why join this pool when there are pools going on at my job, my school, my prison block, etc.?" This pool is a lot of fun because a) there is a big turnout, b) the whole thing is web-based so you can check your progress from anywhere, c) Scott mails out timely updates so you always know where you stand, d) there is a message board where you can either post encouragement or talk smack (smack is more fun), and (last but not least) e) I'M in this tournament, and I'm an easy target. (In case you haven't noticed, my Bruins look a little lost these days.)

3) "What if I can't get the money to you by the deadline?" Since some of you are a good distance away, you might not see me for a while to hand in the entry fee. E-mail me if this will be a problem -- I can float the entry fee until you get a chance to pay up. WARNING: If you NEVER pay, your entry will become another one of mine. BIGGER WARNING: If you NEVER pay up AND you picked a crappy bracket which doesn't win, I will personally hunt you down.

4) "Can I forward this invite to other people?" Yes -- the more the merrier! Please do not forward to the FBI, ATF, IRS, or any other agency with an acronym for a title which would bring a quick end to the fun. Or people that think Illinois will win the whole thing. (Just kidding, Ho.)

5) "I don't follow basketball -- how do I know which teams to pick?" Past experience has shown that knowing stuff about college basketball is largely irrelevant to picking a good bracket. (If you would like more specific examples, please note the losing entries from me the last two years.) People have used a variety of strategies to pick teams, including the following:

-> Always picking the team with the lowest seed (1 beats 2, 2 beats 3, etc.) and then flipping a coin twice for the Final Four.
-> Picking teams with cool-sounding mascots.
-> Picking teams from schools that people you know attended.
-> Picking teams in alphabetical order (A beats B, B beats C, etc.)
-> Picking teams from favorite states.
-> Picking teams at random.
-> Asking John what he thinks about a particular matchup, then picking exactly the opposite of what he thinks.
-> Calling Madame Cleo.

All kidding aside -- there will be a lot of information printed in the next day or two about the various teams and matchups, so you can probably get up to speed in a hurry if you haven't watched a lot of basketball this year. And the #1 rule to remember about the tournament: NOTHING happens exactly as expected.

6) "I don't even like sports -- would I enjoy this?" SURE! (Well, I'm not THAT good of a salesman.) It's basically the same as joining a Super Bowl pool when you don't follow football -- it's a chance for some cameraderie and competition, and an EXCELLENT opportunity to learn a little bit about basketball during one of its most exciting moments. If you're not interested, I won't be offended. However, you can still send me $10 if you want.

7) "Are you just trying to get a million free entries for referring people?" Not really -- it would be nice, but mostly I'm passing this along because it's a lot of fun, and it's a well-run pool. I certainly don't want anyone to think that I'm trying to profit from my friends. Since I've included all of you on a bcc: list, Scott doesn't know who I referred -- if you want to list me as a reference, great...I appreciate it. If not, just say you found the page on Google and enjoy the pool anyway.

8) "What does HWCI stand for?" I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. (No, just kidding. Ask Scott, since I don't get it either.)

9) "Any other tips?" Sure, I have a few to pass on -- take 'em with a grain of salt: